Friday, December 20, 2013

A super wordy spiel on finding happiness. But what do I know? I'm only happy. (sometimes)

Somehow, we measure our young lives by whether or not we are happy enough. Almost like happiness is the standard. We take the smallest, most irrelevant blah in our life as a red flag that something is wrong and broken forever. Rarely do we realize that these long stretches of blah and "unhappy" middles can be seen as a break to process where we are and who we want to be. Maybe it’s where we decide how we feel about the current moment, and where and how we want to move forward? You cannot just have a recipe for success written to a tee and expect it all to come flying at your face. Oh dear, it's getting wordy I know.

 Where am I going at? Hmm ok. If you’re feeling just on the okay side of good, ever consider the idea that maybe you’re exactly where you should be right now? Same goes with when you’re frustrated you haven’t landed that foot-in-the-door job or whatever else you NEED to get going. The reason you haven’t yet reached the top is because the road to get there is essential. It needs to happen. (Yes, over night success stories happen. But mostly we are talking about real life.)Think of it as a rare middle in life; nothing is wrong or too late or less-than. No woulda, coulda, shoulda. But just for the record, it’s okay to passionately hate being stuck. You can be angry about it. You are entitled to feel whatever you want to feel. You owe it to yourself to open up and acknowledge the things that have the potential to get better. Dwell in possibility, at least! But instead of only focusing on what’s wrong and the parts you don’t like, try to see the parts you DO like. Work, homework, tuition, retail job versus Harry Potter marathons and the freedom to aimlessly stroll through the park. Also the future. You follow?

Listen to where you want to go. Perhaps the "let the chips fall as they may" mindset isn't too horrible after all. Cliché? Oh goodness yes. But is it for real, YES.  Stay on course and away from the whirlpool of negative energy is all I mean to say. And by that I mean the people who still complain about Mondays and try to drag you down, too. 

I think we as humans cloud our brains with self-inflicted opinions of being unhappy. You know when you’re sad for no reason at all? Why do we do that? Either you’re listening to Fiona Apple because you’re depressed, or you’re depressed because you’re listening to Fiona Apple. Strangely enough, sometimes it’s soul-cleansing to feel feelings just for the heck of it. Ugh, I do it so much. Currently I'm obsessed with singer-songwriting duo Alex and Sierra and I just want to hold a unicorn. It doesn't even make sense. Happiness on the one hand can be constant. You can decide to approach your life in terms of positivity, and also have a built in mindset that allows you to center yourself back after a Fiona Apple binge-fest. (Ok, we can stop talking about Fiona Apple now.) Happiness is a color palette. Or so I feel like it is. Some moments are so pretty and bright and better and more admired than others. But dark to middle to light is what a full life is made of. We should not be a constant flood of smiley faces, how boring would that be? And obnoxious if you really think about it. Firstly, happiness would have no value and secondly, you’d lose absolute perspective on the true weight and worth of experience! Too much of a good thing is just a good thing. It’s not spectacular or anything.

When life sucks, keeping our composure and cool while all else goes out the door will do wonders. You’ll learn to really mean the words, “It’s ok!” and also the tiny, “There’s always next time.” And no one really is OK, nor are we all smiles accepting plan B. You might be saying, "oh what does SHE know," but I kind of do. Maybe I didn't land a high-end gig at first try....but I'm still here aren't I? I'm good. The trick is to not let it stand as a barrier. You can choose to see things in a positive light, and understand that life keeps moving. If anything, there is a second chance because the universe is designed that way. 

I am almost 100% sure that you also get anxiety when not enough is happening in your life. (at least I am telling myself that because I'd like to be normal) Sure school is more than enough, thank you. And work needs not to ask more, but I mean the extracurricular stuff that is the unwinding road to success. If you’re in Journalism school, a place to be published, if you’re a musician, a chance…if you’re confused, an option. Anxiety is natural, and it’s fine! It lets you know that you want more out of life, and then only will you make an effort to gain it. That being said, it's nice to still maintain a state of inner serenity, a place where you accept the ups and downs and shaky middles. A calm place that allows you to just be and build. (Also known as a yoga mat.) Be smart and patient and move toward the general direction of your ultimate goals. Focus!!! (that was for me, particularly. I can focus when school is up and running but on holidays I write with my whisk and bake with my journal. Or something equivalent to having no compass.) If you have a "picture perfect" end goal, your life is so much easier than those who have not a clue where and what they want. It's not unrealistic to dream big. 

Gosh I ramble. Seriously though, let things happen TO you! Control is so overrated sometimes. Focus, but don't be so uptight when things don't go your way. (noted, self. thank you.) Along with our coffee orders, we get to decide who we want to be every single day. And once you’re committed to being THAT person, the rest is easy. You’ll keep writing and singing  and creating and baking and debating and one day…life will fall into place. Today isn’t a screaming crowd of millions, nor is it adorned with bells and whistles and a golden statue designated to your craft, but that’s okay. Your life today is still great; it’s the most essential piece of the puzzle. It's today where you decide what you'd like to be tomorrow. 

Sometimes, maybe really things are black and white. You know?!? Or are you all confuzzled...
...................thanks for reading :)