Phones suck

Currently, I have no phone. I am phone-less. There were a series of unfortunate incidents that lead to it's slow, painful and demoralizing demise; all of which didn't have to happen. This is the part I refuse to admit in front of my parents and my brother, but yes... I could have been more careful. But we don't have to talk about that because I will have my pity party and you will listen, Baker in a Beret url. You will listen.

The worst part is that I actually am the 1% that can't be saved by an OtterBox. The rest, oh you just carry along being the wise and sensible 99% of the population. And then those who carry around their shiny sparkling new iPhone, naked and withOUT a screen protector. Nothing- no scratch no bumps no dents. I've even seen them fall in front of my face and they jolt down to pick it up and it's like the universe quickly replaces the screen in that 5 second window or something. I'm barely speaking english, but my phone is un-salvageable and I had a mortifying visual migraine while this occurred, all my pictures are gone because I'm afraid of the cloud,Verizon is stupid and three people on craigslist emailed me back suggesting I join a phone auction and that they have three more phones but 'OH SORRY, I sold those for darn cheap but here's how you can score one too!' Nope. No. 

(Moral of the story: I guess that's what I get for touting around my $16.99 OtterBox find from TJMaxx.)

Sometimes life poops on your head and no one gets it. (If mum reads this she will yell at me for being an "aurat bachi" and using the word poop in public like this, and you'd think I'd stop using the word poop by now so ok) 

I sound so cranky, yuck. I mean I am cranky. Ugh and even though I might end up winning in Fantasy Football, the Bears loss was just so dumb which makes football in general so dumb today. UGH ugh. 

I should probably just have a personal diary, you're right. 

THE POINT of this word-vomit wasn't to one-up everyone's stress. Mindy Kaling said stress is never a legitimate topic of conversation, so unless it's my mum or dad or my cuzo, I just swallow the hsjkuwijsuadjnajkmsbwund parts of my life when in a social gathering. Not that this is a gathering and technically I could keep going since I have like two readers... *anyway* 

Last night when we got home, I looked up at the sky and said. "Seriously. Who needs a stupid phone when I have the stars." I said it with a huff and a puff and completely out of spite, even though I really do love the stars more than anything. I just said it, and I guess I meant it.

Then when I didn't have instagram lit up on my face as I was trying to "sleep," I kinda laughed to myself because it was so foreign! I wasn't scrolling through facebook's home page (like we do with the fridge. nothing magically appears the more you open and shut it) and bringing people I barely know into my life for a minute, that too as an end to my day. I felt this unusual silence, like I was actually a part of something bigger, not just watching it happen before I sleep. I wasn't drooling over the insta popular page and wishing I was in Europe or something, and I wasn't scrolling through the cool twitter kids' lives. I was just here. 

I actually closed my eyes and sighed, even though I wasn't even sleepy sleepy. Almost like I acknowledged me, the actual ME. Not my facebook persona or my twitter weirdo self or the instagram polished and put-together person. Yes, those are me too. But they're the most-filtered version of me...they're the part of me I want people to see. And it's okay, of course the cranky person I was up there is not someone I want to parade around on facebook. But often, all the versions of ourselves become us. Even to us we are that red-lipped coffee shop girl because we're so comfortable with the acceptance (aka "like"). And until you lose that connection momentarily because your otter box screwed you over, you just float around being not you. Not always true because some people only take pictures of their cat. 

I don't know if this makes any sense, but I'm cool with my pictures evaporating into thin air. My camera roll probably had 986 pictures since my last back-up; two weddings (okay okay I am sad about losing all those, ugh we all looked so good lol), way too many selfies, food pictures (obviously), my cousin Shiza's selfies, random Chicago street corners, costume party, purple sunset and leaves. I'm so cool with it. I can't explain why or what's wrong with me, but I really enjoy the idea of just today and not having pieces of every other day prior in my hand at all times.

Yes, I miss my phone. And it's not thaaaat dramatic because I'm sure in a week or two I'll reconnect back into the world and frantically scroll through instagram to see what I missed. But for now, I'm good. 

The quietness is kinda nice. Plus the stars, duh. And I'm listening to Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" on my laptop so it's going to be okay, I promise. I can only imagine how you guys are holding on (aching) without my texts! 

:) confession though, GOD I MISS EMOJIS. 

Brought to you by Gibberish and poorly constructed sentences. 

Peace. X